The harder I try to be holy, the more I find myself discouraged.
Have you ever felt that way?
Striving for holiness can feel like chasing something just out of reach — the carrot always dangling a little farther ahead. We want to be good. We want to be pure. We want to see God. After all, Scripture says:
“Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God.”
And that’s the goal, isn’t it? To see Him.
But how?
How can I be holy?
Paul answers that question plainly:
“For this is the will of God, your sanctification…”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:3 (ESV)
God’s will.
Not hidden. Not mysterious. Not complicated.
Your sanctification.
How can I be holy? According to 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4, holiness is God’s will for believers. It involves surrender to Christ, learning self-control, obeying Scripture, and depending on God to establish our hearts in holiness (1 Thess. 3:13). Holiness is not achieved by striving harder but by allowing Christ to be formed within us.
What Does it Mean to be Holy?
If sanctify means to set apart as holy, then sanctification is the process of being set apart.
Holiness is not polishing your behavior.
It is belonging wholly to God.
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Paul continues:
“…that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor.”
— 1 Thessalonians 4:3–4 (ESV)
Holiness is not theoretical. It is embodied. It touches what we do with our bodies, our thoughts, our desires.
It is not vague spirituality. It is daily obedience.
And yet, if we stop there, we will despair.
Because in the flesh, we will never make it.
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The Secret We Miss
We often treat holiness like imitation.
“What would Jesus do?”
It’s a good question — but if that’s all we have, we’re left trying to copy perfection with imperfect strength.
As Oswald Chambers said:
“Sanctification does not mean anything less than the holiness of Jesus being made mine manifestly.”
Read that again.
Holiness is not me becoming better.
It is Christ becoming visible in me.
Sanctification is not imitation.
It is impartation.
Related: God Disciplines Those He Loves
Strengthened in Holiness
Paul prays something beautiful for the Thessalonian believers:
“So that he may establish your hearts blameless in holiness before our God and Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus with all his saints.”
— 1 Thessalonians 3:13 (ESV)
He may establish your hearts.
Not you establishing yourself.
God strengthens the heart.
God steadies the will.
God forms Christ within.
We surrender.
He establishes.
That changes the struggle.
How to be Holy in Everyday Life
So what does this look like?
It looks like surrender.
Holiness begins when I stop trying to manage my image and start yielding my heart. There are corners of the soul we would rather keep private — ambitions, habits, secret sins, quiet resentments. Sanctification shines light there.
It looks like obedience.
“I obey His Word because I love Him.” Not because I am trying to earn purity. Not because I am checking spiritual boxes. But because love compels obedience.
It looks like discipline.
Paul says we must learn to control our bodies in holiness and honor. That means knowing our weaknesses. Setting boundaries. Avoiding situations that inflame temptation. Holiness is not accidental. It is intentional.
It looks like dependence.
We do not draw from Jesus the power to imitate Him. We draw from Him the holiness that was manifested in Him. And slowly, quietly, His patience begins to appear in our impatience. His purity interrupts our impurity. His love softens our hardness.
This is the mystery.
There Will be Conflict
Let’s not pretend otherwise.
The pursuit of holiness is not soft. It is warfare.
As J. C. Ryle wrote:
“There is no holiness without warfare.”
Where there is grace, there will be conflict.
The flesh resists surrender. Pride resists humility. Habit resists discipline.
But conflict does not mean failure.
It means life.
what Holiness is Not
Holiness is not perfectionism.
It is not superiority.
It is not rigid externalism.
Holiness is a heart established in Christ.
It is a life gradually ordered around Him.
It is a person who increasingly reflects Another.
You will still fight.
You will still stumble.
But you will not remain unchanged.
The Pursuit of Holiness
Let’s bring it down to something simple.
How can you be holy?
Surrender to God.
Obey His Word.
Control your body in holiness and honor.
Depend on the Spirit.
Stay near to Jesus.
Keep eternity in view.
Because one day we will stand before Him. And Paul’s prayer will be complete — that He would establish our hearts blameless in holiness at His coming.
Perhaps the better bracelet would not ask, “What would Jesus do?”
Perhaps it would ask:
“Do you see Jesus in me?”
That is the real question.
Are you up for the challenge?
Questions We Still ask About Holiness
1. Is it really possible to be holy in this life?
Not perfectly. Not flawlessly. Not without struggle.
But yes — progressively.
Sanctification is not instant sinlessness. It is steady transformation. God is forming Christ in us over time. The struggle you feel is not proof of failure; it is often evidence that the Spirit is at work.
He is establishing your heart in holiness (1 Thess. 3:13). And He finishes what He begins.
2. What is the difference between justification and sanctification?
Justification is what God declares about you.
Sanctification is what God develops in you.
Justification happens the moment you trust Christ — you are counted righteous because of Him. Sanctification is the lifelong process of becoming holy in daily life.
One is your position before God.
The other is your growth with God.
Both are gifts of grace.
3. Why does pursuing holiness feel so hard?
Because there is real conflict.
The flesh resists surrender. Old habits cling tightly. Pride does not die quietly.
There is no holiness without warfare. But the presence of conflict does not mean God has left you. It means you are alive.
Where there is grace, there will be resistance.
4. Does holiness mean avoiding certain sins, or is it something deeper?
It is both.
Paul tells us to abstain from sexual immorality and to control our bodies in holiness and honor (1 Thess. 4:3–4). Holiness includes turning from sin.
But it is more than restraint.
Holiness is a heart set apart for God. It is Christ’s character being formed within you. It is not merely what you avoid — it is who you are becoming.
5. What if I keep failing?
Then you keep returning.
Holiness is not maintained by pride. It is maintained by repentance.
When you fail, you do not run from God. You run toward Him. You confess. You surrender again. You depend again.
And slowly, almost imperceptibly, He strengthens your heart.
The Christian life is not about never falling.
It is about never giving up.
One Day We Will Stand Before Him
One day we will stand before Him.
Not before our critics.
Not before the people who misunderstood us.
Not before the version of ourselves we wish we had become.
Before Him.
And Paul’s prayer will be fulfilled — that He would establish our hearts blameless in holiness at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints.
That day is not theoretical. It is coming.
And when it does, holiness will not feel restrictive. It will feel right.
Until then, we fight the flesh.
We turn from sin.
We confess quickly.
We cling to Christ.
We walk in the Spirit.
We do not pursue holiness to earn His love.
We pursue holiness because we already have it.
And slowly, quietly, steadily —
He establishes our hearts.
Necessity is laid upon us. We must fight. There are no promises in the Lord Jesus Christ’s epistles to the seven churches, except to those who ‘overcome.’ Where there is grace, there will be conflict. The believer is a soldier. There is no holiness without warfare. Saved souls will always be found to have fought a fight. J. C. Ryle
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Life is a Vapor 
As we abide in Jesus, we are transformed and enabled to be all we’ve been called to be. Thanks for sharing. Blessings!
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Awesome post!
But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: (1 Corinthians 1:30)
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This post is such a timely encouragement! I’ve been studying the joy of fearing God and the pursuit of holiness. It’s a weighty topic. The quote from Chambers is brings a necessary shift in perspective. It is CHRIST IN ME – not me myself – that is holy. How precious is the grace of God to us! Thank you for sharing this thoughtfully crafted post.
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You put this into words so well! Something I sometimes struggle with grasping, thank you Summer!
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Hi Summer! Your post reminds me of an incident many years ago I heard a schoolteacher say that when she left the classroom she wanted the children to behave not because the feared her but because they loved her. Your challenge to us is very much needed in this day and age. Thank you
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I like your thought of a bracelet that says, “do you see Christ in me?” Makes me think. I need to live my life with that question on my mind. If we all thought like that, we might come closer to being like Christ
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I need that bracelet that says “Do you see Jesus in me?” Lol. Seriously. If the fruit of my life doesn’t speak Jesus to others, than I am not on track. But to focus on trying to be holy, I fall everytime. I’m learning to die to myself in situations where my flesh wants to rise up. And I hope I am bringing glory to God in my life.
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“Sanctification is not drawing from Jesus the power to be holy; it is drawing from Jesus the holiness that was manifested in Him, and He manifests it in me.
Yes let me continue to draw from the holiness that is in Jesus by surrendering, obeying, avoiding sin, and staying close to Jesus. Thank you for this wonderful article!
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Hi, Summer! Thank you so much for this post. A wonderful reminder to us, indeed! God bless you always!
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Beautiful and needed post on sanctification. Grateful that it’s always been about Jesus and what he is doing in me rather than a list of “shoulds” or a holy checklist I strive to achieve.
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This post is so inspiring.
Our lives as Christians must reflect Jesus Christ and this is only possible if we live a life of holiness. May God help us to pursue holiness within and without.
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Loved this, Summer! Your writing is beautiful and you included some awesome quotes from others. This is such an important topic and quest for believers.
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“I can live a pure life because my heart is pure, not because I am following a checklist of holy acts.” This sentence nails it! Excellent post.
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Such an incredible post on sanctification. So often people focus on the behaviors and not on the Spirit of God. Loved how clearly and concisely you helped us see it was God working through us and not simply behavior management!
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Our salvation is by faith, and we can attain holiness and sanctification by faith as well. We begin to struggle when make the mistake of thinking our works can make us holy.
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You have certainly challenged me to ensure I am pursuing holiness! I particularly like the list of character traits to work on, surrender to God, obey His word, avoid temptation and sin and stay close to Jesus. Thank you!
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